As I lay face-up in a compromising position on the hard surface of the table, she hovers over me and our eyes lock. “Do you expect me to talk?” I ask. “No,” she replied. “I expect you to lie……down and relax. I want you to enjoy your Ginger and Pimento Massage.”
GoldenEye Beach
Ok, so the exchange has been dramatized slightly. But really, if you’re a writer visiting the GoldenEye Hotel & Resort in Jamaica, the upscale and recently-renovated property where Ian Fleming once lived and where he wrote all 14 of his James Bond novels, the thematic references, puns and play-on-words are inevitable. Certainly the intrigue surrounding the creator of the world’s foremost spy is enough to entice anyone to visit GoldenEye. The fact that 2012 happens to be the 50th anniversary of the Bond movie franchise (not to mention Jamaica’s 50th anniversary of its independence), well, that’s just the icing on the cake. So my assignment now is to investigate the backstory of this British icon – and sneak in some R&R in the Jamaican sun where I can.
The journey begins rather uneventfully. As I make my way through customs at Montego Bay Airport, it occurs to me that I am travelling light, given the circumstances. I have no spy gear or cool gadgetry to speak of, except for my iPhone 4 (which I’m sure M1-6’s Q would have been jealous of, if I could teleport it back to 1962).
Dining area in the Fleming Villa
Speaking of the letter “Q”, I quickly learn that GoldenEye enjoys a very high Q Rating among artists, aristocrats, and heads of state. The Clintons, Harry Belafonte, Johnny Depp, and Pierce Brosnan (natch) are just a few of the more notable guests. The attraction of GoldenEye is owed not only to the Fleming mystique but also to the reputation of the hotel’s proprietor, Chris Blackwell, who is a legend in his own right. Blackwell, whose mother is said to have been Fleming’s muse and the inspiration for some of the Bond girls, spent his early years in Jamaica and later founded Island Records, the record label that propelled the careers of a number of renowned artists including the Spencer Davis Group, Marianne Faithful, Tom Waits, Roxy Music, and of course, Bob Marley. Aside from Blackwell’s wildly successful run in the music business, he also founded Blackwell’s Fine Jamaican Rum as well as the Island Outpost hotel chain, which includes boutique hotels throughout the region. Blackwell is also dedicated to social causes, such as his Oracabessa Foundation, which supports local restoration, locally grown goods, and the promotion of Jamaican culture.
Beyond its storied roots, GoldenEye’s appeal is also due to its understated elegance. Nothing about the resort is garish or over-the-top. While there are a few hints of the hotel’s heritage here and there (a tastefully-framed black and white photograph of Ian Fleming with Sean Connery, a tiny Aston Martin replica and a franchise-themed coffee table book are seen in the common area), it is clear that GoldenEye was never meant to be “Disneybond”. Some may yearn for more of an entrée into this world, but the restraint shown here is probably for the best: I remember once, during my backpacking days, staying at a hostel located in Salzburg, Austria, close to where the Sound of Music was filmed. Aside from offering location tours, the hotel’s owners also screened the movie every night. Given that it was a youth hotel, it should be little surprise that the audience turned each screening into a giant drinking game, with participants taking a swig of Stiegl every time Julie Andrews sang. GoldenEye avoids trafficking in the Bond name too much. Instead, it allows the property’s gorgeous location and Jamaican heritage to be the main attraction.
Indeed, immediately upon arrival, we are greeted with a warm welcome and a “GoldenEye” cocktail (fresh pineapple juice and rum) and shown to our spacious villas. Decorated in a spare, minimalist design, the rooms include a spacious bed, a large claw foot tub leading to an outdoor shower and plenty of modern amenities. (Suffice to say, guests will not find any tarantulas crawling in their bed, à la Dr. No, nor are they likely to find any counter-agents hiding in their closets).
And then there are those lucky enough to rent the Ian Fleming Villa, a mini-compound comprised of a main house bungalow, a couple of smaller cottages, a media room, a private pool and beach, a full-time kitchen staff and a butler. The main house, a three-bedroom sanctuary where the author lived, is decorated in the same spartan style as the other suites, though boasts a few of Fleming’s original pieces, such as his large mid-century writing desk (Incidentally, this sort of furniture is enjoying a resurgence of popularity due to the success of another, more recent cultural phenomenon, Mad Men).
When we’re not lounging on the beach or by the infinity pool overlooking the beach, we explore the vast property and partake in some of the sporting activities offered. Yoga and core classes are held on the outdoor deck. (The latter proves to be a fairly challenging workout; a few more of these and I am certain to become a bodacious Bond girl in no time). Water activities, such as kayaking, paddle boarding and jet skiing, are also available, as is a daily boat tour on the “Glass Eye”, a glass-bottomed boat that ventures around the property, enabling passengers to view local sea creatures in their natural habitat. (An interesting vessel, though perhaps not quite as exciting as a Lotus Esprit sports car-cum-submarine, it must be noted).
GoldenEye’s lagoon-edged treatment facility, known as The FieldSpa, offers each a guest a complimentary “Spa Sampler”, a choice of either a fifteen-minute neck and scalp massage or foot massage. The practitioner’s hands make it worth booking another appointment, such as the aforementioned Ginger and Pimento massage, which help works out the kinks acquired from the day’s activities; or perhaps the Cooling Ocean Scrub whose seaweed, sea salt and mango butter ingredients are harvested locally.
The Bizot Bar is the resort’s outdoor restaurant where breakfast and lunch are served. The Gazebo in the Trees is the fancier though still unpretentious spot where guests meet for dinner. Among the notable breakfast entrees at Bizot are fluffy banana pancakes and, for lunch, a vegetable curry roti and a Caesar salad topped with jerk shrimp are both delicious (Note: dressings and sauces are used liberally here, so guests may wish to request some of these on the side, depending on one’s diet). The dinner menu features a number of seafood dishes, including Mahi-Mahi served with crispy risotto and Grilled Lobster Tail, both of which are complemented with an international wine list.
So, happy birthday, Mr. Bond: with all the activities, spa treatments and fresh cuisine available at GoldenEye, it’s no wonder you’re still able to take on the world.
Travel was subsidized and photos were provided by GoldenEye, an Island Outpost resort
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Can’t make it to GoldenEye this year? You can still celebrate Bond’s 50th Anniversary with a visit to the “Designing Bond Exhibit: 50 years” at the TIFF Bell Light Centre (from now until January 20, 2013). Bond’s on-screen suits designed by Anthony Sinclair, likenesses of some of the films’ coolest gadgets and Ursula Andress’ and Halle Berry’s dueling bikinis, are all on display. For more information, visit: http://tiff.net/bond.
