The now-cancelled #racetogether campaign at American Starbucks locations had me thinking. Ethnic issues aren’t something that I think about on a daily basis – it’s not something that really “affects” me all that often. However, once in a while, things do happen. As I’ve noted in the past, it almost always comes from women of a certain age, and usually people who are from cultures that would have likely faced discrimination a few generations ago or even today. Men, on the other hand, don’t make such comments as often, nor people who’re East Asian (East Asians have OTHER comments, which I will address in another post).
Names: Is it an issue when someone who is of non-European descent has a “western” name? It’s really common in my community!
I was at a lunch a few months ago where one woman at my table, one who was probably in her 60s or perhaps even 70s, wondered why her some of her coworkers, who were of East Asian descent, did not use names from their respective heritages. Since I did not know these coworkers, I asked if she knew whether they were Canadian born/raised or more recent immigrants. She said that there was a mix. I then told her that based on my experience, some people might have legal western names (like me), while others prefer something that is easier to pronounce. It’s not because they’re ashamed of their names, but a personal choice, either of the individual or of their parents. I said that virtually every CBC (Canadian Born Chinese) person I know have both western and Chinese names. I also told her that this is not uncommon in Hong Kong (where my family is from), especially among the educated elite. It’s just something that’s…done. And I think the woman had trouble understanding this. She seemed to have the belief that if her family kept “old country naming traditions” that other people should too.
Another comment came from a woman of a similar age group. She said that she was recently invited to a co-worker’s baby shower and that she was surprised the woman was even being thrown one because showers were not (as she understood it) part of said co-worker’s ethnic tradition (Chinese). I told her that the mom-to-be must have been born and/or raised in Canada and like most CBCs, are fairly integrated in Anglo-Canadian culture. She just gave me a weird look (one that I would never expect some in her 60s would give), and said that SHE was born in Canada, yet SHE didn’t have a shower because it was considered bad luck in her culture. It’s as if the younger woman in this situation was abandoning her heritage because she was okay with the party. WTF is that supposed to mean? I didn’t even know that showers were seen as bad luck in my culture until I read about it online some 10 years ago!
Diversity isn’t just about being PC – it should also include accepting people who are more “integrated.”
Those are just two of many examples I’ve heard over the years. Other comments have involved weddings (why did you wear white? I thought that was the colour of mourning in your culture (happened several times). Another came from a younger woman of South Asian descent who was surprised that arranged marriages haven’t been common in my family (and my culture, I suppose) since the 1930s), religion (your mother went to a Catholic school?) and one strange comment from a man (the only time, I think) who said that it was “nice” to see “non-Anglos” help a political candidate (I think he was from the Caribbean somewhere, based on his accent). In addition to being male, he was, like the South Asian woman, NOT of a “certain age.”
I felt that it was important for me to post this because most publications don’t talk about these issues. Compared to Ferguson, for example, this is fairly petty, and not really a big deal. These comments are made by people probably because they’re fairly isolated in their communities (even the Canadian women mentioned earlier). Or maybe because they feel that they need to be politically correct. The latter, however, is dangerous because it makes them sound even more ignorant (and one reason why multiculturalism can be one huge mess). While it’s important to have a better understanding of different cultures, we also can’t assume that people keep certain traditions and that not keeping them means they’re “forgetting” where they (or their ancestors) come from. However, this isn’t something that major media will likely discuss. Nor would I want to discuss #racetogether with my barista. I just want them to spell my name correctly. It’s NOT Syntheea!
Image credits: Name image by: Smiltena/Shutterstock; Diversity Road sign image by Kunal Mehta/Shutterstock
