On Blogging, Other Bloggers and Fitting In

What exactly IS DelectablyChic!? We have been publishing under this brand name for more than three years, and over six if the previous brand, Prospere Magazine was included in the mix. We have always had a mixture of food, fashion/beauty, travel and other topics such as events and some entertainment, and it is what the site should to be. However, this also means that as head of the site, I don’t feel like I “fit in” anywhere. I’ve been to many events, including Fashion Week (under its various banners, including L’Oreal, LG and the current World MasterCard brand), galas, restaurant openings and seasonal previews, but often feel like I’m not “fully” with the bloggers, especially the fashion crowd (nor is the site like other “lifestyle” bloggers, which tend to be more mother/family-focused). I love going to these events (and am very much looking forward to the fall shows at World MasterCard Fashion Week in March), but I also feel like I’m snubbed by the so-called “it” bloggers at these events in addition to companies, in general.

The blogging world can feel like the red gummy bear – not part of the (orange) “crowd”

Maybe it’s just a FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) problem that I have. I have my Twitter feed running all day, and see things whenever I’m on the computer. I notice. I read about other bloggers attending events that I either didn’t receive an invitation for or know about (so I can contact PR to see if I could attend) – even though my site has been around much longer than theirs. While I am on many PR lists and I have to admit, get many opportunities to write, I often feel that I am not getting the kind of opportunities that a six year old site (Prospere Magazine launched in January of 2008 and was re-branded as DelectablyChic! in September 2010) should receive. Where are the brand ambassadorships and speaking engagements? Am I not pushy enough with PR companies? Or is it another problem – perhaps due to the lack of images featuring the “head” blogger? Or is it something else…people not really knowing what DelectablyChic! is or that the site is not “mainstream” enough (nor “alternative” in the “right” way).

I admit that I often give a different perspective on things, including body image and even feminism. It’s an opportunity to make people THINK from another perspective and I believe that it’s a good thing (even if the activists disagree (see my recent body image post)). But at the same time, I feel that it’s a turn-off because some people just don’t WANT to acknowledge issues that aren’t from a more “mainstream” or “acceptable alternative” perspective. Basically, “mainstream” in the body image world means “pro/more bigger sizes” (opposed to discussing issues pertaining to short, small-framed women beyond fit) and “acceptable alternative” feminism tends to be ethnic feminism from a lower-income perspective (one sees this on Jezebel all the time) – something that I admit that I don’t understand. And no one wants to hear about ethnicity or feminist topics from a short, thin East Asian 30-something female with a suburban upbringing and private school education. Because those issues don’t “exist.” Of course, this is off topic – privileged ethnic feminism will be a topic for another post on another day.

This brings on another point. Does writing from this perspective not only scare away companies, but other BLOGGERS? Do other bloggers find DelectablyChic! just a bit too…”different” for their tastes, and therefore don’t feel like I’m one of “them” enough? Other bloggers are definitely polite around me – we greet each other when at previews and at Fashion Week and even engage in polite conversation, but I know they don’t consider me part of “their” crowd.

I will not make any changes to the site just to be one of “them” or to get more sponsorship opportunities, beyond my blog network. Instead, I will let it evolve on its own (e.g. more family-focused posts when I have a family, for example), but will not make immediate changes just to get more endorsements beyond my blog network. Why? That’s called selling out, and it’s not DelectablyChic!‘s thing. However, I also don’t want to feel like that “weird” girl at fashion events because I don’t have the same views or am a full out “fashion” site. I know that I can’t change other bloggers’ perspective on me, nor can I make them “include” me, but at least I have a platform to let things out…

About Cynthia Cheng Mintz

Cynthia Cheng Mintz is the founder and webitor-in-chief of this site and the petite-focused site, Shorty Stories. She has also written for other publications including the Toronto Star and has blogged for The Huffington Post. Her first novel, Aspirations, was published in 2007. Outside of writing, Cynthia researches and advises philanthropic ideas for family funds and foundations and also volunteers.