I consider myself lucky. I consider myself privileged. I admit that (and I know I don’t have certain privileges as well). But lately, seeing all the anti-establishment posts on my newsfeed – whether it be from media sources or so-called “friends” – has made me slightly…uncomfortable. Actually, it has always made me uncomfortable. I have met people who’ve looked at me funny when I mention my high school (including eye rolls and questioning me on “what it was like.” And often together. What exactly DO you mean when you ask me what it was like? I don’t ask YOU about YOUR high school experience! Is it really that weird?). This, of course, isn’t something I get from fellow private school grads or people who know independent school alumni. Instead, they might ask me if I know so-and-so – should they have gone around my time – or mention that they went to another (sometimes rival) school (“I went to Havergal,” for example). I have to admit that I may ask older alumni what it was like to attend a certain school in his or her day, but that’s not really the same thing. When people in my age range ask me, it’s as if my parents did something wrong by sending me there. Or worse, something’s wrong with me (because it isn’t what many people – especially those who aren’t familiar with Hong Kong immigration of the 70s-early 90s) think of as “typically immigrant”). The tone just isn’t out of curiosity.
I don’t brag about my high school education (or university and grad school, for that matter) – I wasn’t the world’s best student, anyway – and only say anything when it’s necessary. However, it just seems weird sometimes. It’s as if it there was something…wrong for me to have gone to such a school. And I’m sure there are alumni who feel the same or similarly, but we just don’t talk about it, because it makes us sound snobby. I mean, why should we, anyway? High school was a long time ago – back in the 90s. Still, to me, there’s some sort of “guilt factor” – as if I really shouldn’t have gone there (at least that’s what other people seem to imply). And this was despite my wonderful experience at the school.
Of course, education is not the only issue. I’ve seen tons of posts criticizing Sophie Gregoire-Trudeau’s need of help for herself and for her family. My question to the critics is this: Is she expected to do everything alone? Don’t YOU use help? If you’ve ever used a sitter or send your kids to daycare, you’ve used help. Or does that not “count” because it’s the normal, “middle class” thing to do? I actually find that form of criticism sexist. It’s as if it is a mother’s job to mind the kids while her husband goes out and work. If it is indeed her job, then it’s also her husband’s. And we don’t hear ANYTHING about the lack of childcare/help at home the Prime Minister is doing. Considering all the promotions we’re hearing and seeing from the #leanintogether crowd, one should be promoting. And no, external help SHOULD NOT be seen as a mortal sin, either (and though these comments tend not come from my most intimate circle, I DO see it on some of my acquaintances’ social media posts). As I said, most of us have used or have been cared for by external help.
I wonder if discussing socioeconomic background – especially of those who are non-white and not lower income – is some sort of faux pas. I see it on sites like Jezebel (which I hate read) all the time. People often deny that this sort of privilege even exists. I might not have a certain ethnic privilege, but I certainly have some sort of privilege, correct? And it’s rude to react a certain way just because I went to school somewhere you might not expect or were raised a certain way. And I’m not going to NOT send any hypothetical children to another school “just because” you think it’s weird. In fact, I’d love for any daughter I have to go to my alma mater (though it’ll be up to her, depending on her age. I’m not sure one can make a proper decision at the age of three or four). Or maybe I’m just too sensitive.
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