Since Prince William and Kate Middleton’s engagement, there have been many articles and newstories across a wide variety of media about “princess boot camps” – places little girls attend to learn proper etiquette and how to act like a “real princess.” These camps have been criticized by many feminists as reinforcing traditional roles of women having to be “ultra feminine” – something that they’ve been fighting for decades.
Debutantes being presented at the Cloncurry Coronation Debutante Ball (Queensland, Australia) in 1953. Growing up, these young women would have received proper training (similar to “princess boot camps”) to prepare them for their debuts.
There are two things about these “boot camps” that bother me. First is how media are acting as if this is something “new and interesting” when certain families have been sending children to these things in the past as preparation for their roles as adults. It’s only in recent decades that some families have stopped sending their children to charm/finishing schools or cotillion programs, thanks to the casualization of our society (and something Lesley M. M. Blume laments about in her book, Let’s Bring Back). Secondly, the only “problem” certain feminists should have with “Princess Boot Camp” is the name since it’s implying that the “princess” lifestyle is the only way to go – that girls need always need to “marry well.” These “princess camps” also do not spend much time on the actual “role” of princesses, such as philanthropy and focus only on how to curtsy, how to have tea, basically how to “look pretty.” Can’t these so-called feminists argue these points, rather than looking at it from a fairytale perspective?
Etiquette lessons should be considered empowering. Proper etiquette, which includes traditional table manners, is very necessary for anyone, male or female, in the corporate world. And it’s better to learn when one’s a child than later in life, which seems to be happening more and more today. In fact, I think it’s more important to send boys to these camps than girls – “boy culture” hasn’t really changed that much since the old nursery rhyme that said boys were “made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails…” Based on conditioning, girls are just more exposed to these “rules” than boys. These rules also need to be learned over a longer period of time, not in a week-long or weekend-long session. In a world where rude manners rule (see reality shows like Jersey Shore, The Real Housewives of __________ and so forth). Sadly, many people, especially the academic types disagree.
What do you think? Would you send your child to an etiquette program? Would you go to one yourself?
Cloncurry Coronation Ball image courtesy of Wikicommons/John Oxley Library, State Library of Queensland (Australia)
