Erin Gold

How many times have you been out in public, seen someone really handsome, and then looked away as soon as your eyes met his? If you look at the missed connections page on Craigslist, you’ll find out that it happens a lot. So many of the posts have to do with things like “cutie on the bus” or “pretty girl at the cafe” and “wish I had asked for your number.”

Starting conversations “just because” is much more common in Israel than in Canada

Even in friendly Canada, there’s a cultural estrangement in which we don’t talk to strangers unless we have a really good reason to do so. It’s something that definitely does not exist in Israel. Working on an article in a cafe over there, other patrons asked what I was writing. After asking questions to a bus driver in broken Hebrish (Hebrew/English), someone asked where I was from. You see conversations take place among strangers all the time. It’s not always a “pick-up” conversation, although that happens a lot as well.

I was surprised upon moving there how many guys asked for my number. When I returned to Canada, I started to worry about how seldom it happened. “What’s wrong? Did I suddenly age young or lose my charm?” I wondered. My Israeli friend explained one time that it’s just “Middle Eastern Culture.” I’m not exactly sure what that means, but it seems that in Israel, guys try more often to pick up girls and people speak more easily. Israelis seem friendly and open in both mind and mouth.

Here in North America, we wouldn’t even think of stopping to chat with the cashier

It may be something built into the landscape. In Canada, we walk the long open aisles of grocery stores and don’t have much to say to the cashier because we don’t want to hold up the line. In the open market in Israel, I had to push through crowds to go and see my vegetable guy or argue prices with the fruit man who had the best variety.

The market is just one example. On the sheroot (a mini bus that follows the public transit routes but is similar to a shared taxi) you sit down first and ask the people in front of you to pass your fare to the driver and pass back your change. There is a certain necessity of interaction built into public spaces that only feeds humanity toward one another. On the simplest level, it made for a lot of great opportunities to find out about interesting local places and led to a lot of great dates.

It was only by talking to strangers that I found out about everything unique (from private rooftop parties with DJs and live mural paintings to the best hummus restaurant hidden in a maze of little old streets). The reason we travel, I think, is half about seeing the sites and half about getting to know the people. Israel is a great place for both.

First Image © Don Bayley/iStockphoto

Second Image  © Sean Locke/iStockphoto